From Rituals To Restlessness

I was born into a devout Hindu family. My world was filled with idols, temples, and rituals — each god tied to a need, each ritual designed to bring luck, protection, or blessing. But deep down, I always questioned what I saw. I knew these idols were handmade, sold in markets before being worshipped. I have seen people haggle over prices before buying an idol and bringing it home. Now, suddenly, it was a God at home, meant to be revered and worshipped. Until then, it was just a “product” in the market for sale to help someone make a living. Could a real God be bought, carved, or confined to a statue? Does man have the freedom to shape God to any form he likes? If so, would it be right if I made one according to my own liking? I was restless with questions.

I participated in countless ceremonies, yet felt empty. My heart whispered questions I never dared speak out loud: Is this real? Can a true God be made of wood or stone? Are my prayers and rituals really doing anything? I seem to still be the same with no evidence of any personal transformation into someone better. Over time, doubt turned to disbelief, and disbelief eventually gave way to fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of consequences. Fear of death. So I performed the rituals, just in case. But I had no peace.

Searching For Success

My wife Shanthini, raised in a Christian home, was always gentle in her faith. We married in 1991, and life seemed good — successful careers, international opportunities, and a comfortable lifestyle. We moved from India to Singapore, and later to Vietnam, chasing the dream of more.

But beneath the surface, I was restless. My life revolved around ambition, nightlife, and indulgence. God had no place in my plans. That is, until everything collapsed. The company I worked for in Vietnam shut down. We had sold everything in India. There was no backup plan.

The Night Everything Changed

One evening, I sat alone with a beer, hopeless and lost. My eyes fell on a Bible — a gift from my mother-in-law. Out of desperation, I opened it and read a few pages from the New Testament. I didn’t know it then, but that night was the beginning of a brand new life.

As I read, questions flooded my mind. Is Jesus real? Did He really die for me? Is He alive now? Can He hear me? I drifted into sleep, overwhelmed and unsure.

A Damascus Road Like Encounter

The next morning, I woke up into a world that felt brand new. Everything was radiant — the colors, the light, the peace within me. I was filled with joy, despite having no job and no future plans. Something had changed. Deeply. Supernaturally.

I whispered a prayer: “Lord, if this is really You, I want to know You.”

And He responded. Not with lightning bolts, but with doors opening. I found a new job. I found a Bible-preaching church. I found hunger — real hunger — for the Word of God. I began reading the Bible as if my life depended on it.

From that moment, I was never the same. I lost the desire to drink or smoke — it simply vanished. I didn’t try to change; Jesus changed me.

I was no longer restless, searching for answers. It was as if I had found what I had been looking for all my life. I felt fulfilled and complete. My search had ended. I had found the answers to all of my questions.

His Presence, My Confession

Not long after, I had another powerful encounter while praying. I was overwhelmed by God’s presence. During an evening of prayer, alone in my room and on my knees, like a movie screen, every sin I had ever committed flashed before me. One by one, I confessed them and asked for forgiveness. Each time, peace replaced the guilt. The experience lasted for what seemed like a really long time. There was too much to confess. Finally, I felt a warm embrace that words cannot describe. The embrace of a Father who loves, forgives, and restores.

I am not yet perfect — far from it. But I know this: Jesus is real. He is alive. He is the Son of God, and He is coming back.

Ministry Begins

My wife soon joined me in church. Eventually, our whole family came to know Jesus. We began leading Bible studies at home, welcoming people from various nations. We preached, taught, and served wherever God opened doors. What began as brokenness became boldness. We were a family on fire for God.

Today, I serve with Bible League International, helping make disciples and plant churches across South Asia. My job is not just a career — it’s a calling. A mission. A privilege.

If You’re Searching…

If you’re reading this and you don’t yet know Jesus — or if you’re not sure how to — I plead with you: don’t wait. He loves you. He died for you. He rose again for you. He is not a religion. He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. He is not an idol. He is not an ideology. He is not a set of moral do’s and don’ts. His story is not a myth. All of you are intelligent and smart individuals. I encourage you to check out historical and archaeological evidence of the writings in God’s Word, the Holy Bible. Be bold and question your faith. Whatever faith you believe in, have the courage to ask questions. Because, there is a heaven to gain and a hell to shun. And you have just ONE chance to get it right.

If you are truly hungry to know the true God and to know the truth, you WILL find the truth because God seeks after those who are hungry for Him and He comes rushing to reveal Himself to them.

No matter your background or your past, you are not beyond His reach.

“What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and yet forfeit his own soul?”

Thank you for visiting my site. I pray it leads you closer to the truth.

Perpetually walking in worldly uncertainty, yet full of peace knowing all will be well — that is the secret of walking with Jesus.

— Santosh Chandran